Taking Pause

That is a really good way to describe what I have done over these past few days, weeks and now even months since I last blogged back in April. It has been a time of great celebration and deep sadness. Since April, Kayla has graduated from high school and prepares to start her college journey at LaSalle in a few weeks, Cody and Matt have soared (both personally and professionally) as they learn to grow the cafe business and work in unison and on Main Street in Dennison, Iowa I accepted a marriage proposal.

Externally, the economy continues to be volatile, people are losing their jobs and sickness and sadness prevail on many days. These times have led me to take pause and reflect on my past, my present and my future. They have led me to search my heart and decide what is most important to me and what would please HIM. I have learned (at many junctures the hard way) that the riches of life do not come from money or worldly success but from simply loving each other and following HIS lead on how to do it. I have learned living and loving are a journey not a destination.

Dan's influence and partnership in prayer have helped me to believe in myself, constantly reminding me that I am royalty -- "A daughter of the King". I have experienced richness in embracing life this way. We have stumbled as we have tried to retool our hearts, minds and spirits to listen, but we keep doing it. We have cried, explained and apologized more than we have experienced the joy and the rewards, at this point. We have had to take pause several times in order to listen to HIS direction.

Why do we keep doing this? Many close to us have been quite perplexed by the question and our response. It is simple... a life without love is not HIS plan for us. I pray each of you will take pause too. HE never breaks HIS promises. If you love, even when people don't love you back, it will yield a rich life.

1 Peter 1: 7-7 NIV
"These have come so that your faith --of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you may not have seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Driving Miss Daisy

As I was aimlessly flipping the remote (a significant benefit of a single woman) last night, I came across the 1989 Pulitzer winning flick, "Driving Miss Daisy". I remember being intrigued the first time I saw it now 20 years ago when I was in my early adult life. I experienced some different things than I did back then.

I could imagine how people over the years have seen me as a Miss Daisy (Jessica Tandy) characterized as a strong willed, Southern gal with a stiff upper lip. In her earlier years, she had little time for relationship or the simple things in life. She was quite focused with the things she could control and single handily change.

She was silently blessed with a black chauffeur named Hoke (Morgan Freeman) whose diversity and lifestyle made the two quite unlikely to develop much more than a working pleasantry with each other. Twenty five years and loss changed Miss Daisy and Hoke's priorities. They were not only drawn to accept each other's differences but were drawn to develop a meaningful relationship with each other. Miss Daisy eventually began to rely heavily on driving conversations with Hoke to provide meaning, joy and direction in her life. Eventually the stiff upper lip became a gentle smile and then erupted to full blown laughter with Hoke.

My take away from Driving Miss Daisy was different last night than it had been twenty years ago. I, like Miss Daisy, have realized that God's gift to us is not fulfilling in solitude, and if we are patient and open meaningful relationships are blessings that come from highly unlikely places and at times we least expect them. It reminds me of a saying I think of often... Life's a journey not a destination, so don't forget to enjoy the drive.

Simple as "Simon Says"

Sunday I had the opportunity to spend time with my grandchildren, Taylor (5) and Mason (1). It is always a good day when I get to do this because things get really simple when I interact at their level. I love to digress to my own childhood and remember how much fun I had before I went off to kindergarten. From my perspective, kindergarten is a time when you release your children for the first time to the care and wisdom of other adults as well as expose them to the diversity of many other lifestyles of children in a daily way (that's a subject for a different day though).

Taylor's creative mind moved us to a hybrid game of "Simon Says" that she called "Teacher". Obviously the competitive blood as the first born in a competitive family made her the "Teacher". The game worked like this, as the Teacher she could tell us what to do or not to do and we would do exactly what she told us or we would be "out". As you can imagine, us grandparents don't respond quite as precisely or as quickly as our Teacher expected. It produced more laughter and fun than I have had in quite awhile. She was a great teacher at age 5. She kept the instructions short and simple. It made the game fast paced and fun. At times, the instructions required teamwork or two to accomplish. She kept everyone engaged and the time flew as her success was reaffirmed by a proud grandma.

I will not forget the simpleness of that time we had together this Sunday. It made me wonder if we adults have made life more complicated than it needs to be sometimes-- turning games to contests, innocent fun to a challenge, or teamwork into competition. It made me wonder if we really just took our ULTIMATE TEACHER literally how simple and fun life could really get for all people. I am thankful for my granddaughter who's simple fun loving joy has me thinking how I can apply what I learned on Sunday to where I am in life.

The Pause Button

What would have happened if the 3000 people who witnessed the crucifixion had hit the "pause button" on Good Friday. It seemed clear that Jesus was gone. He had died on the cross. The disciples and all the people who had witnessed the crucifixion had been disappointed in the tragic ending. Not a single person had any hope that Jesus would rise on the third day, and the God they had hope in remained still and silent. People in despair went quietly to their homes to regroup and mourn some angry how Jesus had disappointed them and left them without hope.

Can you imagine the outcome of the Christian faith if the followers had not listened to Peter as he spoke of the significance of the Risen Lord and the end of the story would have been written on Good Friday? Did you ever think about the countless people today who believe the story did end on Good Friday? They pattern their lives without faith or hope aimlessly. You read on the front page of the newspaper and magazines (Newsweek's most recent cover - "The Decline and Fall of the Christian Faith"). What circumstances today mirror the disappointment and feeling of hopelessness that the followers of Jesus felt to the extent people have hit the "pause button" and ended the story before we have given God the chance to do HIS work in our lives?

There was and is no pause button in this story-- Christ is Risen! He is Risen Indeed. The third day came and the promise of the Father was delivered. All debts have been paid and the celebration is available for all who seek Him. (Acts 2:32-33,37-39) God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses to this fact. Exalted to the right hand of God, he has received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit and has poured out what you now see and hear. "Brother and sisters what shall we do?" Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off-for all whom the Lord our God will call."

Rocky Moment

I have to admit I haven't seen all of the Rocky movies but was a fan especially of the first few releases. One of my favorite scenes was seeing Rocky running up the steep steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum during a period of his most intense training. The music to this scene was permanently imprinted in my mind from the first time I heard it. It is the motivational scene that I have used to inspire and encourage myself when I am facing challenging times or significant events. It rousts a spirit of perseverance and air of confidence in me.

This weekend for the first time, I got to live the moment. As we approached the museum a huge statue of Rocky reminded me of my inspiration. We paused for a moment to look ahead at a steep climb of close to 100 steps. My mind moved to the movie and felt the rush of living the Rocky moment. Before we made the climb, we turned about face to see the beauty of the City of Brotherly Love. Then hand and in hand we trotted up the first steep series of steps laughing out loud about living the moment I had played out in my head dozens of times. I could almost hear the music playing it was such a vivid recollection. The brisk head wind had us mid lifers pausing on the first landing out of breath. It was a moment I'll never forget. A Rocky Moment.

What if God Doesn't Show Up?

The days and hours before the Crucifixion, the disciples were on an unprecedented high. Their Savior had provided visible proof of His Power. Numerous miracles were witnessed, yet at the Last Supper Jesus prepared the disciples for the unpredictable and unexpected outcomes of the week. I have to wonder what the people who had so faithfully followed Him and witnessed Him were thinking as the arrest and betrayal started. Their demeanor of joy and celebration within a few days turned to betrayal and disbelief. As the Acts of God fell silent, the faith of the people turned to acts of violence. Despite the pleas of Jesus, God remained silent in the midst of taunting to prove Himself. The people yelled crucify Him. God did not destroy the Temple or deliver as Jesus had predicted. They concluded He is not the Son of God. The people must have been thinking... Does this God truly exist? It seemed to the people who were witnessing Jesus that God's silence was a reflection that He was not present, not capable of delivering, or not real.

I reflected on the events leading up to the crucifixion this morning Palm Sunday, as David Ashcraft, Sr Pastor of LCBC in Lancaster suggested that the greatest things that God ever does are during times of the greatest darkness, the times of silence, the biggest messes of life and the times we think he is not going to show up. We let these doubts creep into our thinking. Life's uncertainty result in lack of personal peace and reduce our impact as people who trust and love God.

As I apply that to life today for myself, I confess that I can identify with thoughts of uncertainty and I have also wondered: where is He? What will happen if He doesn't show up? Where was He when we were sacrificing and evil was prevailing? Life is hard. Why do I have to do this alone? What will happen if He doesn't show up in Somerset County to provide truth and justice? What if I lose my job? What if the economy totally collapses? What if...? What if....?

My conclusion is the "what if" was proven unequivocally on the cross. Life is uncertain. God is not. It is true that in the midst of our darkest times when God seems silent or absent, He is doing His best work for us. I have experienced it many times in my own life. He will always show up and He will act for His Will and timing not ours. It is a reminder that God is in control and we can have peace even in the midst of violent storms. In fact we can celebrate because these are the times that those who love Him are closest to Him and can wait in silence for Him to do His work. Romans 8:28 We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love him.

"Cindy"rella for A Day

This year has been challenging so far on many fronts for me. Many days I wake up and feel a good bit like "Cindy"rella scrubbing floors in a dark basement. The analogy is not one of self-pity because I really don't see it that way. It is the timing of God's plan for me.

The reason why I know this how yesterday evolved into a "Cindy"rella day. In the morning, I awoke with the pleasant thought that I was on vacation for the first time this year. I have to admit that it took me most of the morning and into the afternoon to really get into a mode away from pending work and thinking about how to make the most of this time.

The early afternoon fell nicely into place with a run on the treadmill and some quality time with Kayla. We talked about hopes and dreams we have. It was a bittersweet time since previous talks like this usually were dominated by the past. The later afternoon presented an opportunity for me to take a walk with my love Schnookie. We frolicked around the block like neither of us had a care in the world.

Around 5 it was time for me to head to Hershey Hotel for my spa session (the birthday gift my team had given me last September). I sat in the quiet room feeling like royalty being waited on and pampered as I looked out at the beautiful view of the Hershey Gardens. The entire experience was "heavenly" and had me expressing thanks for being a daughter of the The King.

I topped off the day with a session in the hot tub, curled up in a blanket and watched the movie Fireproof. It was truly a "Cindy"rella day.

Route Recalculating

Some times my type "A" personality has me thinking I can leap even further than my long legs can handle. These are the times that I hear that sound that many of you hear in your cars if you have a built in GPS system - "Route recalculating. Recalculating. Do you want to continue on this route?" This past weekend I had one of those experiences. It was a loving nudge that there are no easy routes to love and life.

As I sit back and think about the recalculation of my route, I have a smile on my face. Though I may have gotten off the route He has for me, at least I'm on the route. I am seeing and experiencing some interesting, fun people and things on this leap. Though naive about many things, I realize I have a lot to learn to be able to navigate this route and will likely hear that annoying message many more times before I see His Face. The good news is when you know your desired destination, these recalculations just seem like bittersweet rest areas.

Curse of Knowledge

In recent months, I have been witness to several different styles of relationship versus religion discussions. I have to admit, I have been surprised at some of the assertive ways that people speak of their religion. I have concluded these well versed religious individuals exude uneasiness in those of us who consider ourselves to be men and women of a quiet faith.

I listened with intent last week as a colleague spoke of a breakdown in communication which is termed the "curse of knowledge". Unfortunately there are times, well intended religious individuals speak passionately with the appropriate terminology only those in ministry cultures can understand. The result is those of us who are not well versed experience this "curse of knowledge". It could intimidate some more timid seekers to the degree they do not feel qualified to pursue a relationship with God.

Could the difference between religion and relationship be why the percentage of Americans who say they have no religion be increasing and the percentages of denominational religion are also declining? Supportive of that theory, nondenominational worship is on the rise. Could the fear of prerequisites of religious knowledge be a fear that prevents some from a relationship with The Father? Could this also be the logic why people are choosing nondenominational relationship over religion?

A foundational relationship with Him has no prerequisites. He wants a relationship with all who seek Him. He meets us all where we are.

I conclude there is a risk not worth taking of communications which convey the "curse of knowledge" of religion that discourages relationship.

Is it Worth the Risk?

Each day we are faced with many choices. Some of the choices are simple and require little sacrifice like: whether to smile or frown; whether to sleep longer or get up; whether to exercise or take a nap.

Other choices are significant and change lives. At many junctures these choices lead to the fears of the unknown that produce anxiety and questions. These choices are truly a test of faith because they require trusting in God with our lives. They require us to persevere with unknown cost, trepidation and for some of us immense fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline". Because these choices have inherent risks, we can often rationalize ourselves out of action-- like: should I give?; should I help?; should I serve?; should I love?. These sacrifices also require us to think of others before ourselves.

Keith Walker, Pastor at LCBC stated it well this morning. "Life change is always worth the risk". This is because God knows all the risks and relationships that we should prioritize in our lives. I know a man who has exampled this lesson to me and many others. He took a risk in getting to know me. I will be forever changed by his willingness to take on the risk

As long as we are in relationship with God, His love will drive us in this adventure of life. Fear is not in His vocabulary or plan. Fear is a weapon Satan uses to provide confusion and doubt for purposes of evil.

How about you? Do you think the risk is worth taking to make the tough choices?

Naive Lessons in Life

I have been accused of living a sheltered and naive life at times. When I was 16, I was thinking about what age you should really have things figured out. My logical thinking rationalized that by the age of 30, people should have lived long enough and experienced enough of life to have their arms around how to live it. The equation for a successful life would center around a strong work ethic and the Golden Rule. This simple model would provide me everything I ever wanted in life. I would have my perfect little family. We would live in this perfect little house with a white picket fence. When people looked in the front door we would all be sitting there smiling like Ward and June Cleaver from "Leave It to Beaver". It would be simple. I would be happy, successful and live happily ever after--end of story.

Now I know how naive I was. As I was pushing 30, I realized that it really wasn't as simple as I had thought earlier. As I dodged through the 40's, I was even less confident that I had it figured out. I collided with 50 and I started to rethink what it means to succeed in life.

I was two decades off in my prediction, I'm just finally getting my arms around how to live life. It is simple but not the way I thought when I was 16. Love makes it simple. Love for Him, Love for self and Love for others. I have long given up on looking and modeling my life after June Cleaver. Outward appearances and definitions of success are always deceiving anyway. I am unique for all of the right reasons and His gift of success in my life is revealed each day in the blessings I see in how love is exampled by people who aren't afraid to love around me.

The lesson I've learned from all of this is that success in life is measured from the inside out. Each day is a gift and an opportunity to live life to the fullest--His way not ours. One thing I wasn't naive about was, it is very simple if you let it be. The lesson is.....Love like this is your last day on earth, Lead like you are a child of The King, Laugh like you don't have a care in the world and let The Lord do the rest.

Getting a Life

Over these past few years, I have spent a significant amount of my time and energy "doing what I needed to do to survive". It seemed like there was an unending level of responsibility and hard decisions coming to and at me daily. I developed a demeanor and mode that matched the times.

I have to admit I took offense to the occasional times when my children found me to be to focused, not fun and a bit stern. As we talked through those times (sometimes with escalating voices), they would fling a bit of uncanny wisdom at me "Mom, why don't you just get a life?" I was always taken back and perplexed by that question. What could they mean by that? After all I gave them life, how could they think I had no life?

This past week I experienced a bittersweet victory in understanding. I was talking to my mom on the phone. She said Matt called and wanted to know what was going on with me. I wasn't responding to his calls in a timely way. She went on to say that she called Kayla to find out the scoop and Kayla said to tell Matt not to feel singled out, I wasn't responding to her requests in a timely fashion either. Kayla then included Cody in the poll and he said he never knows where I am or what I'm doing anymore.

I finally understand what they were encouraging me to do, and I followed their advice--I got a life. There was more wisdom than their chronological years in their advice to me. I had become lifeless in many senses of the terminology. Now, I am more energetic, light hearted, adventurous and yes on the go. I see and am experiencing joy in the simple things in life. Thank you my children for your wisdom and well wishes.

The Luck of the Irish

Last night I took a stroll down the streets of West Chester with a friend. We were carefree and light hearted as we walked up and down the brick streets of the community that contains lots of history, architectural beauty and character. For both of us it had been a week of closure in our work in many ways so there was this tone of celebration that was in order.

As we assessed our options, we found ourselves inside of a rustic Irish Pub. It was early so it was quaint and quiet. I relied on my friend who has experienced Ireland first hand to help us select the food and beverages that matched the restaurant and the theme for the evening.

As chaos started to build around us, we were quite oblivious that we were the oldy goldies in a college town establishment. For most people of our age, that would have been the cue to continue on our way. For us, it was the celebration we had planned. The auburn hair was a true sign of my Irish descent and the Irish spirit of my friend helped to digress to a time when we to were spirited college kids. For me, it brought back great memories that there is much life left to live and there's truth in the phrase having "The luck of the Irish".

Leading Indicators

Recently I have had the sense that my days have been a bit like the stock market. The gyrations of ups and downs have me feeling a bit worn out.

Over the past year especially, I have begun to really focus on what is most important to me. While amazingly successful by most people's definition, I have assessed myself as a only moderately successful. My inability to accomplish higher level relationships with people has literally brought me to my knees during recent months. I have jokingly talked about spending more time on my knees than on my feet during these times.

As with the market, leading indicators now reflect a steady improvement and a sign of hope. I seem to be able to spend more time on my feet. The benefit of spending more time on my knees and alone provided a safe venue to stop and listen.

I am happy to report that budding relationships on many levels have me smiling and wondering if I could actually spend more time up here. What a great momentum builder and sense of accomplishment this would indicate in my story.

The Spring Storm

This week the daisies I had danced in last week were battered by a very cold and covering winter storm. It was symbolic of the coldness and sadness that was felt as I faced similar challenges in my heart with the reality of the economy and how it has impacted people that I care about. Tuesday as the winter storm had passed another storm came through that was more painful and damaging than the snow. It was of hurricane strength and magnitude. It was a "Reduction In Force" storm. As I looked into the eyes of people that I had grown to have deep relationships with, I felt a deep sense of loss all the way to my heart. I had more questions than answers as I faced the outward signs of the tough decisions that had to be made. There remains in my own heart a sense of failure that I was not able to save my own. This feeling will remain for sometime as I will not forget the look in the eyes of those that face new real challenges and the eyes of those that must go on without them on the quest for the cause.

Today like all spring storms, the weather has cleared and the sun will shine. It reminds me of Matthew 8 when Jesus told the disciples to go to the other side of the lake and wait for Him. In the fear of the intensity of the storm the disciples in the boat woke Jesus and said "Lord save us, we are going to drown!" He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" He instantly calmed the fierce winds and the violent waves and all was calm once again.

Jesus did not say, I will meet you on the other side when the storm passes or if you survive. His unwavering commitment to meet us on the other side is real and clear. Now we must be committed in our faith to trust and seek Him in all storms regardless of their intensity or threat.

Staying Heart Healthy

February was "heart" awareness month. Hopefully, you observed wearing red and joining in the fun of taking care of your heart--physically and emotionally. Because I care about you (if you are reading this blog, you must also care a little about me), I want to give you some tips on how to stay heart healthy all year round.

Most people are familiar with how to stay physically heart healthy. Exercise and heart healthy eating are the key.

You are probably less familiar with the benefits of having an emotionally healthy heart. Escalated stress levels have led researchers to explore the correlation stress has on people's heart health. Trends are showing escalated frequencies of cardiac incidences based upon escalated levels of stress. Based upon these trends, researchers have proven increasing interaction with others can offset the emotional risks of cardiac incidences. The recommendation is "Let the Good Times Roll"--more laughter, slow down, encourage gatherings and by all means have fun.

As unlikely as it sounds, these measures will increase the "happiness hormones" of serotonin and endorphins and reduce your risks not only of a cardiac incident but of picking up passing flu bugs and other sickness.

How could it be that reducing stress could save you money(doctors visits and prescriptions), build relationships, and save your life all while laughing and having fun? This all sounds way to simple in our very complex, stressful world doesn't it?

Baby Steps

You wouldn't think that a single word could put a half century old woman into a cold sweat and sometimes panic but "trust" has done it to me for several years now--both in definition and in practice. Proverbs 3:5 tells us-Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. I give myself credit for the first part of the verse. I have trusted in the Lord. At times, I had no other choice. It was HE who picked me up, gave me hope, gave me a new life in a new place and found me a way to provide for my family. Now HE also expects me to take action to apply what I have learned with HIM to people of the flesh. This is where I am apprehensive and wobbly on the walk. I feel clumsy and apprehensive in this endeavor but need to execute the second half of the verse "lean not on your own understanding".

This week, although a little off balance, I took many steps in various levels of relationship and trust with people. I trusted my daughter to live up to her word in a promise she made to me last week; I trusted new found friends with a story and a secret; I trusted a man on a bridge over troubled waters to meet me half way; I trusted a twenty eight year old salesman that I met for the first time to sell me a car; and I trusted my son to drive it off the lot and home for the first time.

To be honest, I don't think I've earned or learned enough to be in this accelerated class but I have enough faith to trust in HIM and not my own understanding. There is a small sense of satisfaction and confidence that I might actually be able to do this.

Celebrating the Moment

I think we all have thoughts of a place where we would go when we hear the news we have been anxiously waiting and praying about. For no known reason, the place that comes to my mind is a field of daisies way out in the country where there are no people except for a friend and I. We would pause just for a moment to enjoy the beauty of the field. Then, I would briskly grab his hand and run carefree from one end of the field to the other. While we were running, we would feel the relief and joy of being free from anxiety and focus on looking upward and forward as we ran with a gentle breeze at our backs. This is my idea of the appropriate way to celebrate great moments in our lives.

Tonight, I thank God for the biopsy results of "normal". It is the news we have prayed about for some time now. I have my tennis shoes by the door and am ready to celebrate. Does anyone know where I can find a field of daisies this time of year?

Finishing the Race

It was the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City at 7 pm. The race had been over for hours and the medals had been presented over an hour before. The crowd was beginning to stir wondering why closing ceremonies were not advancing. The crowd was silenced by an announcement that a lone runner was approaching the stadium and was a few blocks away. He was requesting Olympic officials allow him to cross the finish line. The crowd somewhat perplexed by this soon caught sight of Tanzanian runner John Stephen Ahkwari as he entered the stadium. He was bloodied and hobbled with injuries he sustained at the starting line of the marathon where he was run over and trampled. The crowd once again was silenced at the sight of the injuries. The silence quickly changed to an incredible roar as they cheered him to the finish line. This was Olympic history and an Olympic first. He was quickly transported for medical treatment. From the hospital, there was one question everyone was asking, Why? His answer made life history, “You don’t understand. My country did not send me 5,000 miles to start a race, they sent me to finish it.”

What an amazing example of commitment and perseverance. As I heard this story, it had me asking myself some questions. How many times had I committed to finish the race and didn't? How well do I respond to life under adversity? It would have been easy and understandable for John Stephen Ahkwari to quit that race but he saw himself called to a larger accountability and responsibility than himself. He was representing his country. I will hold on to this story for awhile as a reminder that I too am called to a higher level of accountability and responsibility. God didn't send me to just start this race. He is challenging me to finish it.

You Know Its' Healthy When You're Sick

As I pop another antacid, I am reminded of the saying that there's nothing worse than being sick. But to me there is something worse, being sick when you're single. This week I realized for the first time there are two kinds of sickness, one that you take responsibility for in providing balance to your life and body. My sickness this morning is related to my lack there of and do not look to Him for freedom from symptoms. I take full responsibility and know why I am sick. The other is a more serious threat that requires petitioning to God for healing.

This week I have experienced both sicknesses. The latter walking the path of a biopsy early in the week with my friend. Now we wait for the results in the coming week. We talked and prayed at length during the waiting for the procedure and now after.

Last night as we talked, I felt joy in the midst of my discomfort to know someone cared for me, would be willing to drive hours to bring me ginger ale and would even risk exposure just to see that I was okay. Even though I prefaced the conversation that I really didn't feel like talking, 90 minutes of silliness and laughter brought joy and comfort to me. We proved another hypotheses...... Laughter really is the best medicine. You also know the friendship's healthy when you're sick and your friend is still there for you.

Now, its' my turn to be there. First, Heal him, O Lord, and He will be Healed paraphrase Jeremiah 17:14. I pray that God knows our request. Secondly and regardless of the outcome of the procedure, it will be a healthy season for us to grow our friendship.

Friendships with Foundations

Did you ever wonder why some friendships last and some don't? I've been thinking and talking a lot recently with friends about this. I think a lot of factors contribute to whether a friendship lasts for a season or a lifetime. As I think back about the people that I considered friends, there were some things that come to mind as to why they lasted or didn't. I think the success of friendships built to last depends on the state of mind, state of heart and state of life of the individuals involved. It also depends on the level of sacrifice and commitment each is willing to make to keep the friendship alive.

I've had both types of friends over the years. I have had many friends for a season but very few friends for a life time. Friendships for a lifetime aren't fun sometimes because they involve people. They are a lot of work. They take patience, nurturing, understanding and unconditional love. Friendships can be likened to gardens. When they are well cared for, time and focus is spent in growing them, the harvest is healthy and beautiful. The converse are friendships and gardens that just last for a season. The results don't justify the care, sacrifice and commitment and it ends in a less fruitful season and harvest.

Recently I have seen the harvest of meaningful friendships that I have made a commitment to sustain for a lifetime. My nature at this point is not to let people into my garden of friendship, there is such risk and I have been hurt so many times. My wisdom, my experience and my faith tell me the gain will far outweigh the risks. After all if I let my fears prevail again like I have done so many times before, I will never know what the fruits of the lifetime harvest might look like for me.

Life's A Journey Not a Destination

Unfortunately, I do not have the author to give credit to this saying that has become meaningful to me over the past few years but it makes so much sense: "Life's a journey not a destination so don't forget to enjoy the ride. " It is a reality check for those Type "A" personalities like me that get impatient with the results and timing of life. Sometimes I am such a goal setter and achiever, I forget to stop or slow down and enjoy the simple blessings that stare me right in the face like my granddaughter's smile, my children's passion to talk when I'm tired, a friend who approaches with tears but I don't wait to see, my dog who wants to play but I stumble over him because I don't have time and so many more. Over the years, I was always on a fast paced roller coaster to "somewhere" until I realized I was missing so many blessings that God was giving me in response to my prayers. I was to focused on my own plans and destinations to experience the true joys that were here and now.

Today I am reminded as a good friend faces a serious medical test what is most important to me. It is the people around me that smile, cry, walk, care and need me that make the journey worth enjoying. Now, I am on a ride to no known destination trusting God as my compass and speedometer.

From the Inside Out

Have you ever had the opportunity to get to know someone from a distance without ever seeing them or developing a perception of who they were? Sort of getting to know someone from the Inside -- Out, before your eyes and brain kick in. Let me reassure you, it is not like the inside out experience when your clothing is reversed.

It seemed appropriate for me to describe my first opportunity to experience getting to know someone this way today because it is Valentine's Day. I want everyone to know how incredibly rewarding, exhilarating, natural, subtle and fun getting to know a man's heart can be before setting eyes on him. Proverbs 27:19 As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.

Because I have always been a fairly visual person, this experience at first had me feeling a bit awkward and uncomfortable. It didn't take us long to connect and begin to get a comfort level with words. I found myself looking forward to the texts, emails, blogs and occasional voice conversations from this mystery man whose geography and place in life prevented us from meeting for a couple of months.

Over the time a friendship developed like none I had ever had with a man before. It was safe and healthy. I have learned things about myself through this experience that have helped me see beyond the flesh. I have to admit I am a bit ashamed that I have been shallow at times with people especially in light of being recognized in my career as somewhat of an expert in relationship building. It makes me wonder how many pure hearts I have known that I never got to know.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone! I highly recommend getting to know people from the inside out.

The Hour Glass Theory

Tonight, I feel like I need to revisit Dale Carnegie's hour glass theory. The week has been one of those weeks where I experienced a lot of things that could draw me into my comfortable cave dwelling mode and stay there until the storms pass.

Instead, I am going to see the positive in the week and my current status in life. Being single at times can be just plain terrible. Most of you know, I've been in this mode now for about 6 years. The downside is that the buck stops with me in finances, in plumbing, in counseling, in providing, in nursing, in car maintenance, in lawn work,the list goes on and yes in interacting with God. At times like this after a long, hard week, I'm just plain worn out and wish that I had someone to come home to that I could laugh with, eat with, work with, talk over the challenges with or just sit with.

Then I think about the upside of this whole state of being. I get to fill both closets, sprawl over the whole queen sized bed that I picked out, spend my money how I choose, eat out and order whatever I want off of the menu, dream my own dreams and live my own life. I can put a cover on my toilet seat, let the dog sleep with me and leave the cap off of my toothpaste. I can control the remote, sleep in as long as I want, dress like I want and yes I don't have competition for my time or attention so I can enjoy my time with God.

I am told that single people spend far more time listening than talking and thus are more keenly aware of their surroundings. They have far more time for divine appointments to serve and grow the kingdom by speaking to and listening to God. Although not optimal, being single is a blessing in many ways for me. I have often wondered if that is my destiny for the second half. How would I adapt? How should I adapt? and even Could I adapt to another relationship of the flesh?

Which leads me back to The Hour Glass Theory. I realize that it is time for me to give it all back to Him for the execution of His plan not mine. Dale Carnegie summarized this well in his Hour Glass Theory. Each day is like an hour glass. At the beginning of the day, all of the grains of sand are at the top of the glass. By the end of the day all of the granules will be at the bottom of the glass. The unique thing about an hour glass is only one granule can go through the aperture at a time. It doesn't matter whether you shake it, tap it or slant it that is how it works. It is a precise instrument just like the wonder of the life God has created for us. The lesson for me today is to focus on the aperture, don't worry about what will happen next or what already just happened, enjoy the moment and let God do the rest.

Professionals Not Idols

Over the years, I have observed the impact professional athletes have had on our young people's lives. How many of our children grow up wanting to be professional athlete's someday? In addition to the high profile marketing of these athletes, our young people have the ability to go and see these greats perform in real time, real life. These multi-million dollar individuals are seen as idols to our generation of young people. It is easy for our children to get swept up in the excitement of following daily events. They are highly visible: television, newspapers, billboards, magazines, and yes in stadiums across the country. They encourage and relish our young people joining in the hype of building momentum for their careers.

As we have seen in the last couple of weeks, we have taken a huge risk in allowing our children to idolize these men and women of the flesh. A-Rod seen on billboards, posters and the national icon for The Boys and Girls Clubs of America admits to performance enhancing drugs. Michael Phelps seven time gold medalist in this years Olympics caught smoking pot just weeks after standing on the highest platform and being idolized by young people and adults across the world for his exemplary swimming abilities. How do we explain these lapses of judgement to our children?

To me, it should be easy and a great conversation opportunity to discuss priorities, right from wrong and consequences to bad choices. Parents could point out these athletes are not God and are not perfect. They should not be idolized. We must be sure that we help them prioritize which authority figure to worship. There is no risk in idolizing God - The only perfect one, who will never let our kids down and is unequivocally the "Name Above All Names".

ET's Stimulus Package

As I watched this morning's news about the "Stimulus Package", I couldn't help but imagine what it must be like on Capitol Hill during the discussions of how to stimulate our country and people to prosperity once again. Highly influential, intelligent and strategic men and women in their best clothes emphatically convincing their peers that its' all about infusing money into just the right place to get the most immediate results. This session being spinned, twisted and slanted to the American people through hours and hours of news footage to provide hope and confidence of their work to the masses.

As I thought about this my imagination and witty sense of humor kicked in. As most of you know I am known for thinking outside of the box on a pretty regular basis. From my perception, it was more likely like the scene from ET (Extra Terrestrial) that I watched with Taylor for the 5th or 6th time a couple of weeks ago. Scientist's hone in on ET who has been taken in by a loving young boy named Elliot. The scientists must take this "foreign being" into their care to better understand the phenomena. Hundreds of men and women invade Elliot's home and separate Elliot from ET. They employ leading edge science and methods to try to revive ET but their efforts are fruitless. Elliot stands by in horror as he watches his heartfelt friend be terrorized by modern man. Despite the effort, ET lays lifeless in the vacuum tank. Elliot walks over to say good-bye. He has little hope since what can he possibly do if all of these men and women of wisdom could not revive ET. He opens the vacuum tank and puts his hand on ET's chest. Elliot's touch elicits an immediate response. The plant begins to grow and ET's heart begins to shine and beat again. Instantly, ET is saved.

God's lessons sometimes come to us even in the simplest of ways like in light hearted movies. Truth be told the stimulus package was written centuries ago by the disciples as it was exampled by God's Will and God's Way through love. It was written in the heart's of all Christians and is documented in the Word. It is not extra terrestrial or foreign. It is natural and doable. Men and women of God must take a lead. We should be living the stimulus package by example and as a call to action.

Perhaps, they could take a light hearted break from their sessions on Capitol Hill and watch ET. Isn't it comical how an extra terrestrial could help us understand this important lesson?

Live Your Life With Heart Like I Do

You may or may not know that February is National Heart Month--not just because it is Valentine's month but because it is a month of awareness for all Americans that cardiovascular disease and stroke are the #1 and #3 killers of Americans. Every minute some one's spouse, parent, sibling or child dies from a heart related episode. You can be a part of reducing these risks and joining me in saving lives. The effort of developing life saving treatments relies on donor dollars for research. The association's impact goal is to reduce coronary heart disease, stroke and risk by 25 percent by 2010.

Progress toward the goal will be measured according to these indicators:

• Reduce the death rate from coronary heart disease and stroke by 25 percent.
• Reduce the prevalence of smoking, high blood cholesterol and physical inactivity by 25 percent.
• Reduce the rate of uncontrolled high blood pressure by 25 percent.
• Eliminate the growth of obesity and diabetes.
  

We are making good progress in this effort but need your help. Heart disease and stroke are not influenced by the upturns or downturns of the economy. In fact in downturns, the incidences tend to increase. We rely on your generosity to sustain our efforts and progress.

Tonight I will attend the Lancaster Heart Ball. It is one of our most productive events for raising dollars to serve the cause. As most of you know I have regional (PA, OH, WV, KY, DE) responsibility for The American Heart Association and The American Stroke Association. I do this not solely because it is my job but because this is a cause I truly believe saves lives. I want to be a part of it. I hope you will search your heart and join me in contributing to the national effort through sharing your time, your gifts and your talents. If I have touched your heart enough to know more, please email me for more details or click on the heart logo link above for more information.

Trust and Obey

The old hymn carries so much weight in the minds of Christians in a time when there is so much gloom and doom in our world. "Trust and Obey because there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to Trust and Obey".

As I think of this, I can't help but smile at how God's Will and God's Way is done swiftly and unequivocally. The correlation between men and women of power and money who have come tumbling down in recent months who did not trust and obey is a sign God is very real and near. The power and money that they have spent lifetimes accumulating has virtually diminished to being worthless in a few short months. The Word is clear, a choice must be made-- either the finite, material, instant gratification of this life or the infinite joy of eternity and walking in lock step with Jesus. Yes, there is a price to pay for the latter. A lifetime of choices for service and love versus power and money is not always easy or glamorous.

People can't be double dipping. I have been disappointed over my half century of years as I have witnessed how men and women have manipulated power and money to achieve what they wanted to achieve. They have written laws that are self serving. They have executed their duties to channel money and power for themselves and they have trampled "the least among us" without regard. Even more concerning is they have boisterously proclaimed victory to others that they are proud of these ruthless actions.

It is a simple, clear-cut test of faith --there's no other way. How many of us are going to pass?

GPS Response System

Last week, I had the unfortunate experience of visiting my grandson, Mason in the pediatric unit of Lancaster General Hospital. He has been sick for a couple of weeks with an unidentified viral infection. It has been a while since I have visited a child in a pediatric unit. As I think of it, it may have been when Kayla was in Allegheny General for her back surgery.

When I asked for his room number, they directed me to take the elevator to the third floor. When I got off the elevator, I realized that technology once again has changed our world for the better. As I approached the unit door of pediatrics, there was a station with a man there. He asked me the patients name, to see my driver's license and what my relationship to the patient was. It struck me that this was a good thing put in place to protect children within. I willingly cooperated and they provided me a name label with a bar code on it. The man pressed a button from the station to unlock the unit doors and I was able to enter.

I walked in the unit and noticed staff was keenly aware that I was new and watched me as I located Mason's room. I began my grandma evaluation of Mason's well being. As I looked at his little leg, there was a device attached tight to his ankle. I asked my daughter in law what that was for and she told me it was a GPS device. The device had a sensor in it that identified his whereabouts anywhere outside of the "safe zone" of the pediatric unit. It would sound alarms and hospital doors would lock if anyone tries to remove a child from the unit.

It struck me how great it would be if all Christian's leveraged their hearts as "GPS sensors". When one of our children or our own are in danger or moving out of the "safe zone", all surrounding Christian's hearts would be called to respond to the warning signal and bring them back to safety. I can only imagine what a powerful system that would be in this life and what result it would have in protecting our own as Jesus did for us. He speaks about the Disciples John 17: 11 "I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name--the name you gave me--so that they may be one as we are one."

Super Sunday Has Arrived

Game day has arrived. We have looked forward with anticipation for over two weeks now. I kind of relish the time between the final game and today because it gives everyone a chance to build hype. I enjoy listening to sport enthusiasts and experts state their opinion on the strategies of the teams and what the determining factors will be. I also get a witty kind of pleasure challenging those strategies just to see what kind of reaction I will get.

It is a great day for me. Friends and family are coming from far and near to partake in this celebration. I have my menu planned and the last minute details are being taken care of over the next couple of hours. I was so psyched over Pittsburgh being in this contest that I splurged and bought myself a Roethlisberger jersey. I have to admit I was impulsive and extravagant when I bought it but decided I have earned it. A friend told me that winning such a prize would take time and tenacity. I decided my desire for game face and proper attire would outweigh time and tenacity. In defense of my "position" on this, , I am the hostess and a die hard Steeler fan who knows my role for the day. It will play in to the success or failure of the outcome.

Today, I will be in my element just like I have been blessed in several other seasons. I will win once again regardless of the score when the clock runs out. Tomorrow the glory of a successful season ends and the anticipation of a new season will begin. This is one time when I love it when history repeats itself. Go Steelers!!!! Game time 6:20 ET. Steelers versus Cardinals.

Helpless, Hopeless Romantic

Outward appearances can be deceiving sometimes. Most of you would be surprised to realize that I am a helpless, hopeless romantic who cries even during the most light hearted movies. Contrary to what the critics saw, I thought "Last Chance Harvey" had a lot of substance.

The social odds were slanted quite unfavorably against "Harvey" - Dustin Hoffman and "Kate" - Emma Thompson ever connecting. He a 5'8", divorced, American father in London for his daughter's wedding and she a 6'+ never married, British woman who was quite simple in outward appearances to everyone except Harvey. She was even admittedly cantankerous and tight lipped at times with most people. An extremely bad day for both led up to Harvey and Kate meeting in an airport lounge. Her British demeanor and wit intrigue Harvey. His subtle humor, calm compassion and fun spirit provide an immediate safe haven for Kate. The story evolves and they find themselves spending time together.

Just like Kate, I was quickly swept emotionally by this highly unlikely chemistry between the two. I was wondering what catastrophic event would come and undermine the happiness these two people had found in each other. After all, just simple love stories don't impress most people anymore. Despite the times, it was a happy ending. It left hope for new beginnings in lives that seemed hopeless. Kate asked Harvey how it could possibly work-- he answered with confidence, "I don't know but it will".

Men like Harvey are hard to find. I found myself smiling and thinking about how great it was that these two "middle aged" people found "it's never to late to open your heart and change your life". I thought even in the most unlikely circumstances there are inward commonalities that far outweigh the social slants we put on getting to know people. I continue to smile as I saw in "Last Chance Harvey" that it's only your last chance if you quit. It gave me renewed spirit that for hopeless, helpless romantics like me who believe in love, it's never your last chance. I walked away wondering what Harvey would look like to me today. Much like Kate, I think my Harvey would offer a subtle calm, a witty sense of humor, a tender heart and a safe haven to have fun together. I wouldn't care about outward appearances. In fact, if I found such an opportunity I would go barefoot just to explore the possibilities.

Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Winter?

I have to admit, I am just like a kid when it comes to days like today. The anticipation of a complete slow down of the hustle bustle of the work week due to weather conditions was something that really made me smile when I saw the forecast last night. I woke up a little later than usual this morning, snuggled under those warm covers, and with joy dozed back off for an extra hour of sleep.

I have fond memories when I was young of the anticipation of a snowfall that would delay or cancel school. It was a day of sled riding, movies, hot chocolate and afternoon laziness. I appreciated the opportunity to relive that today as Schnookie and I cautiously weathered the driveway to get the newspaper. I tromped through the snow while his 7lb weight allowed him to skate across the top. It was great fun for my boy Schnookie and I to be out playing in the snow. Both of my kids are home today too, so I am thinking about how we can make memories for them of the lazy, hazy, crazy days of winter.

Authentication Failed

Over the weekend, I decided that I needed to get back to my commitment to take better care of myself. Although a little out of sorts on the outside and the inside, I put my exercise gear on and walked down the hallway to our exercise room. The room has a treadmill (my weapon of choice) and an elliptical (Kayla's choice). It also has a TV with a satellite connection to make the experience a little more enjoyable. As I psyched myself up, I hit the remote to find something that could keep my attention for 45 minutes--that's quite a challenge on most days. What I got was a scrambled picture not even distinguishable and a blast of sound with a little blue box in the corner that said "Authentication Failure - card damaged" Call customer service and indicate error code 722. I thought wow this is serious. The computer geek in me has seen this message before with a blank, blue screen and it is devastation.

OK that was all the excuse I needed, the workout would have to wait. I had to fix the TV. I called customer service and got an automated message that asked me to confirm my telephone number. I did that. They asked me to choose one of the 4 options. I chose technical support. I did that. They asked me if I had an error code and I said "yes". They asked me to key it into my phone. I did that--722. This automated voice said "one moment please". I waited.

I was amazed within seconds this automated being from afar had beamed into my exercise room TV and reset the satellite. It took only seconds. The picture was clear, the sound was perfect and there were no more excuses for me not to proceed with my workout.

My amazement with this process continued as I began my workout. I thought this is how swift, clear and amazing our God is. Our picture of life gets scrambled and our interpretation gets distorted. We call Him for help through prayer. He beams in, authentication fails, he resets us and instantly it is all clear. As complicated as we beings of the flesh think we are, God knows all of our authentication failures and the codes to fix each one instantly--not complicated very simple. Of course, we must ask ourselves how many people actually know how simple and effective it is to make the call? Amazing similarity, isn't it?

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Raising kids is one of the toughest jobs that you do in life. It seems like it is an uphill battle sometimes. And then out of nowhere, you realize that maybe you are shaping a life. Kayla asked me to review this college assignment recently. Amazing..........

A Deep Respect for Each Individual

"Albert Einstein once said “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile,” I believe this statement to be completely accurate. In my minimal time living on this earth, I’ve experienced what I consider every kind of emotion possible, grief, happiness, and love. But, haven’t we all? Due to the processes of day to day life, I think it comes easy to be caught up in our own emotions and forget that other people feel too.

Amongst a broad array of experiences, I have withstood the repercussions of a divorce, relocation, and a loss. Throughout all of these situations, I found myself questioning and over analyzing why I was experiencing these outcomes. However, being young and naive I never took the time to step outside of my own world and evaluate the struggles of those around me. I believe that with time and growth, I have finally come to the realization that I am not alone on the roller coaster of everyday living.

People come from all walks of life. I believe it is crucial to experience and learn from each and every individual you ever encounter. It is amazing what you may learn just from a basic encounter with someone who is completely different from yourself. Living in a very stereotypical society, one may be pleasantly surprised if they stepped outside of themselves and experienced how incredible people in this world really are. "

"In My Daughter's Eyes"

In our lives we all have people who make lasting impressions on us that forever change us. I think for most people it is someone older and wiser than they. For me it wasn't, it was my daughter, Kayla. She has had an outlook on life to reckon with at times and other times to die for. She is strong willed and determined-- to a fault sometimes. (I wonder where she gets this?).

When Kayla was 11 she began stumbling and being unnaturally clumsy. We thought it was just adolescence. It wasn't. It was something much more serious -- two of her vertebrae had collapsed on her spine. It was devastating for me. The thoughts of my child having to face the surgeries, the outcomes, the challenges that this unfortunate act of nature would present were almost unbearable for me.

I assumed at her age she couldn't possibly understand and practice a faith in which God would carry us through the ordeal. How very wrong that assumption was. She faced it all with unbelievable strength, courage and faith. She taught me through this experience together what the true meaning of love for God, life and each other is. She stood strong, when I was weak; She laughed when I cried; and she spoke hope when I felt deep despair. She showed me what it means to live the faith everyday as she endured two life threatening surgeries and immeasurable pain.

It is a deep bond through pain, suffering and brokenness that Kayla and I have walked as mother and daughter over the years-- not just with the surgery but many other devastating life challenges that came soon after the surgery. This experience was just the foundation for fortitude that we continue to have for finding the joy and love in all we do. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". I almost think Martina McBride wrote "In My Daughter's Eyes" for Kayla and I.

"In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I want to be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
Everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light
And the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me Gives me strength when I'm weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's givin' more when you feel like givin' up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am
And what we'll be
And though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family

When I'm gone I hope you'll see
How happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes."

Kayla has grown and she no longer "wraps her hand around my finger" but "I've seen the light It's in my daughter's eyes". For me, it has truly been "what life is all about".

Blessed With Brokenness

I have been reminded several times over these past seven days how incredibly powerful our God is and how close His love is to me despite the widespread brokenness of the world. I saw it the eyes of people that shared a wide range of experiences and challenges with me this week.

• I saw it in the eyes of a coworker who is in fear of losing her job. She wept as she shared her fear of security and self worth.
• I saw it in the eyes of a friend who spoke to me about deep grief of a loss yet the joy of lives changed by love.
• I saw it in the eyes of a young woman who has been violated and hurt yet wants to convey forgiveness and love to a family member who is lost.
• I saw it in the tearful eyes of a friend who is struggling between two loves of the heart and must make a choice.
• I saw it in the glittering eyes of a friend who has found love after years of hurt and sadness.
• I saw it in the eyes of our new President of the United States who admits fear and challenges face us.

I am reminded that brokenness is a blessing and not a weakness of people. It brings people of God closer to Him through you and I-- whether it be in celebration or just to sit in silence and weep. John 14: 15 -17 "If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--the Spirit of truth."

I know this. I have struggled with the darkness. I have joked with God about this preparation of my heart through the worst of the brokenness. I have thanked him for the adversity knowing that he must have a very important mission waiting for me that requires such endurance and faithfulness. John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way, the truth and the life." No one comes to the Father except through me.." John 14:2-3 "In my Father's house are many rooms...I am going there to prepare a place for you.....I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."

Here We Go.....

For those of you who are not Steelers fans, you are probably wondering where I am going with this thought. But for those of you who are Pittsburgh Steeler fans you know where I am going--to watch the precursor to the Super Bowl as the Steelers face the Ravens. Today is a great day, not just because it is the Lord's Day but because it is a quasi holiday for my family.

The sport and game itself is big but the tradition and opportunity for spirit and fellowship has extended all my life, my father's life and my grandfather's life. Some of my fondest family memories growing up were times we sat surrounded by family and friends to watch the Pittsburgh Steelers. In fact, my Dad hardly made enough money to pay our bills, but we had the first color TV in our neighborhood. There's a whole process we go through to prepare for this big event: my Terrible Towel had to laundered, pressed and put in position, friends and family had to be invited to come, the traditional foods had to be prepared, and yes all week we have talked strategy and probability of our success today. Like my father, I am a die hard. I remember well the days of Terry Bradshaw, Mean Joe Greene, the Steel Curtain and the Immaculate Reception. I remember the excitement and joy having this extend for several years in a row. Some might say I'm even a bit of a fanatic about this tradition. I have strong opinions about the offensive strategy and how Big Ben will need to perform today to be successful.

The truth of it all is I will win regardless of the outcome of today's game because I will be surrounded by all three of my children and many friends. In fact, the tradition lives on as my grandchildren-- Taylor and Mason have been indoctrinated in to this family tradition. They will be here to feel the spirit of what this quasi holiday brings to family,fellowship and fun! So, Here We Go Steelers. Here We Go...Pittsburgh's Going to the Super Bowl!

What It Means To Keep A Promise

Life has been challenging for my children and I over the past few years. With those challenging times came new commitments of what it meant to be a "family", what it meant to have a relationship with God, what commitments we would need to make to each other to survive, and what sacrifices would need to be made to live up to all of the above.

One of the commitments that I made to Kayla was not to get into a serious (marriage) relationship until she was eighteen. I was willing to make that commitment to her because I believed that she deserved my undivided love, time and focus. I thought it was important for her to see that there are rewards in life for approaching adversity with faith, hope and love. Over the years the journey was rugged, there were times that I had to refocus and remind myself of that responsibility to God and to Kayla. There were many times that I wondered why I had to walk this point of my journey alone. I reminded God that I felt empty. Simultaneously, I prayed that God would hear my prayer and promise to send love to my empty life. I made a pact with Him..."I'll keep my promise if You'll keep Yours". I know God listened and understood - John 11:41 "Jesus looked up and said 'Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me...'"

Kayla turned eighteen November 11th, 2008. It was somewhat of a time of Emancipation Proclamation for me. After all, Kayla is my baby. I had successfully nurtured all three of my children to adulthood and I had kept my promise to her. To me this date meant, I was no longer a "Prisoner of my Past".

I finished 2008 with hope and celebration of keeping that promise. I now wait with anticipation to see how God will deliver His promise. It is not a matter of "if", It is a matter of "when" . God always keeps His promises to those who are faithful. Matthew 7: 11-12 ...know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything , do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law of the Prophets.

This next phase of the execution of the plan will be bittersweet. I know He will deliver far more than I would ask of Him.

"Something Worth Leaving Behind"

How long has it been since you've asked yourself some of the hard questions when you looked at yourself in the mirror? One of the hard questions that I have struggled with is-- what is it that you want people to remember you for after you're gone? What cause or causes are worth fighting for and which ones are battles that don't impact the war? My sense is most of us take on many battles because at the time they seem to make sense. Time changes us and the way we think and act. I'm not the same woman I was last week, last month, last year. My answers to the same questions have changed dramatically over the years. There are many battles that I would have put myself out there in the past that I stand and just shake my head. They are battles some people must see worth fighting but not me, at least not anymore.

As I think of what I value most in life, my thoughts go immediately to the people that I love. It makes me think of my children. I changed dramatically over the tenure of raising my three children. My number one child was over disciplined, my number two child was selectively disciplined and my number three child, I had a strategy of asking "is this battle worth fighting?"
Most of the time it wasn't.

So, I have asked myself the hard question in recent times -- What's worth leaving behind?
I think Lee Ann Womack answers it well in her song "Something Worth Leaving Behind".

"Hey Mona Lisa, who was Leonardo?
Was he Andy Warhol?You were Marilyn Monroe
Hey Mozart, what kind of name is Amadeus
It's kinda like Elvis You gotta die to be famous

I may not go down in history I just want someone to remember me

I'll probably never hold a brush that paints a masterpiece
Probably never find a pen that writes a symphony

But if I will love then I will find
That I have touched another life
And that's something Something worth leaving behind

Hey Midas you say you have the magic touch
That even all that shiny stuff Someday is gonna turn to dust

Hey Jesus it must have been some Sunday morning
In a blaze of glory
We're still tellin' your story

I may not go down in history
I just want someone to remember me

I'll probably never dream a dream and watch it turn to gold
No, I'll never lose my life to save another soul
If I will love then I will find
That I have touched another life

And that's something Something worth leaving behind

Hey baby see the future that we're building

Our love lives on in the lives of our children
And that's something......
Something worth leaving behind"

lyrics by DOUGLAS, TOM / BEAVERS, BRETT

So I challenge all of you to ask yourself the same question. If it is our children, shouldn't we live our lives for the sake of our children?

This Ones for The Girls!

I'm a bit of a challenge for the women that I surround myself with. Because of my past, I have been very selective, like a President with his cabinet, of who I let in my life.

There are distinct qualities one must have before I would consider letting them into my inner circle and calling them "friend". They must be kind, and witty, they must be patient, and understanding, they must be a good communicator, but a better listener and finally they must see something in me worth fighting for. I try to help them see the value in being in relationship with me -- the win! win!. The old saying although not instant gratification, "anything of value worth having is worth fighting for". There are few women that are cut out for a job like being a friend to me. It takes a lot of patience and love to withstand me. Many have come and withdrawn their names down the stretch.

Fortunately over the past few years I have been very successful in meeting this challenge, I have identified a cabinet of "girlfriends" that have helped me to follow my call and come out of my cave. They have been willing to follow God's command in John 15:12-13 "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no more than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

Not only are these girls good friends, they are extraordinary women of God. They get it. They know HIM, they live it and they hold me accountable for doing the same. They have helped me more than any of them will know. In return, I would follow God's command for them. So with so much gratitude......... This ones for the Girls!!!!!!!!!!

The Ultimate Garden

I like the metaphor of thinking about people like plants and flowers in a botanical garden as John describes in John 15. God being the creator and ultimate gardener. He is divinely astute and detail oriented so the beauty of His garden puts all who know him in awe.

I had the opportunity to experience Longwood Gardens over the holiday and was in awe of it's beauty. The surroundings of acres of meticulously manicured gardens is nothing short of a fairy tale experience. I was led there by a new found Christian friend so that made the experience that much more meaningful.

For me with this metaphor elicits a level of responsibility to God. I want Him to have the time to sit back and enjoy his creation the way I enjoyed Longwood Gardens. I don't want Him to have to spend most of his time pruning me so that I don't detract from the beauty of His other creations. It is true that with all gardens there will always be a certain amount of time in care of such a complex creation. I will need that nurturing because that is the care that continues to grow our relationship.

But it is my intent on staying close to the vine and doing my part to keep His garden one of awe, so that we both enjoy the ultimate beauty of the experience and effort.

A Turning Point

As I look back over the last eight years, I now realize that it wasn't the chaos of sin around me that caused the most damage to my well being. It was the isolation from people that spread through my mind and heart like a devastating disease. My reaction as the chaos intensified was to exacerbate my own pain by going deeper into isolation. There were many reasons why I believe this was not such an abnormal reaction to the situation but none the less, recently I realized I was trapped in a life without people and I was dying there. For whatever reason, I had convinced myself that as long as I had God in there with me I would be fine. I was wrong. Psalm 27:11-12 "Teach me your way , O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence."

The turning point came a short time ago when I began to ask for help. God decided that it was no longer healthy for me to be in isolation and it was time for me to move toward trusting people again. John 15:4 "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." I realize the only way I will be able to advance my relationship with HIM is if I begin to rebuild relationships with people around me again. This is a very frightening challenge for me. After all, I have been in isolation for many years. I liken this in my mind a bit to Tom Hanks in "The Cast Away"coming back from the island after his time in isolation and finding that life had moved on without him, trying to figure out how he might fit in again.

He knew I was to afraid to take this on myself, so he sent a person of the flesh to provide counsel. Amazingly, I have surprised myself that I have been able to take baby steps to open my heart again to trust. I am witness to the beauty of the precise way that God weaves the tapestry of lives together to do good. Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. I celebrate an early year win, a milestone and a turning point.

Untainted, Unconditional Love

You don't even have to be an animal lover to have witnessed the unconditional love that puppies give. It makes me wonder why people aren't wired that way.

It reminds me of God's love for all life- Psalm 36: 6-7 Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O Lord, you preserve both man and beast. How priceless is your unfailing love.

I see the example of this daily with our 7 lb miniature toy poodle named "Schnookie". He is so incredibly loving and faithful. It doesn't matter if I scolded him or hugged him before I left the house, he has the same unwavering greeting each time I see him -- tail wagging and unmatched enthusiasm. In fact if I have been on an overnight trip, he squeals he is so happy to see me.

I can learn from Schnookie's example of untainted,unconditional love. It is simple and holds no expectations. It is unwavering and energizing. In fact, it is priceless unfailing love.

Try this experiment... Put your dog and your loved one in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you???

"In God We Trust"

We see this phrase everyday--in courtrooms, on money, embedded in carpeting of key officials/clergy, on badges, everywhere. In the month of January hundreds of politicians including our President Elect will take the oath of office with their hands on the Bible. Since the beginning of time people have placed their hand on the Bible to signify the importance of Acts of Community and responsibility.

"In God We Trust". These four words are a a simple commission but hold much responsibility to God's people and the work that He has trusted them to undertake. Proverbs 3:5 (New International Version) Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
There is no mention of personal or material gain in this commission.

In a world with much uncertainty, the answers are clear and have been before all Christians. As the economy sours, I see strategists who surround me grappling for earthly answers to protect their money: I see parents who sell their children for money; I see school and legal officials manipulating the system to protect money not children; I see people who I have respected over time destroying those around them to protect themselves; I see a society that is condoning more and more sins so that we don't overcrowd prisons and put burden on taxpayers; and the list goes on and on. Have we really taken seriously those commissions from HIM and lived them through love and responsibility to others?

It is time for all Christians to fight the fight and walk the talk. It is time for all Christians to take hold of the world that Christ Jesus gave his life on the cross to save. It is time for all Christians to hold themselves and others around them accountable.

The answers will not come from any "bail out plan" or from a man of the flesh. The answers are here and the time is now for us to collectively live our commission ... "In God We Trust". When we do, we can be confident that God will keep his promise and meet all of our needs - Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Do you feel the love?

I was blessed with a weekend away to the mountains thanks to my sister and husband. It came at a time when I benefited greatly from the peaceful atmosphere of getting back to nature. I can relate to Jesus going to places like the mountains to be alone, ask for discernment, and hear The Father. Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
As most of you know, I am still learning to be patient and wait. It's a discipline that Type "A" personalities need to constantly work on. As I have become more aware of this in recent months, it has helped to protect me from myself. I have also had some really good friends who have cautioned me just in the nick of time. In previous years, I would have declined the invitation to go to the mountains this weekend--to many things to do. I have decided this year is going to be different.

The cabin was filled with a great balance of quiet, laughter, pleasing conversation and time with The Father. The punch line that kept us light hearted and on task for the desired outcome was the question: "Do you feel the love?" This was our cue that things were getting serious. Wouldn't it be great if the whole world cued each other when things got to serious? Wouldn't this be another interesting experiment to see the impact of how it would change the world?

I believe if the world could be disciplined enough to wait, God's plan and love would far surpass our wildest dreams. So as I move into the New Year going back to work trying to practice what I preach, I am asking myself and those around me...."Do you feel the love?

New Year with New Beginnings

I face today January 2nd with hope for new beginnings in 2009. The final chapter of one book will be written in the first quarter of this year. I'm not waiting to begin writing the new book as I am convinced new beginnings should start with the New Year.
As Melody Beattie writes:
“Certainly things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes, these events are pleasant surprises; sometimes, they are of another nature. But they are all part of the chapter that will be this year in our life and will lead us forward in the story.
The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book , waiting to be written. ;…”

I am anxious to move my story forward in this year. It has been to long that the story has been written in past tense. As Dale Carnegie would say, "my glass is half full again instead of half empty" and the Book of Joel 1:19-20, the adversity does not prevail. His Love is for each of us if we call out to Him. I know that the burden is mine to keep my heart open to the possibilities, so look out world here I come!!

2009 It will be Simple Strategy

It is going to be a simple strategy this year that has centuries of success:
Paul writes in Philippians 4:6-9:

"Brothers and sisters: Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters,whatever is true, whatever is honorable,whatever is just, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me.
Then the God of peace will be with you."