A Turning Point

As I look back over the last eight years, I now realize that it wasn't the chaos of sin around me that caused the most damage to my well being. It was the isolation from people that spread through my mind and heart like a devastating disease. My reaction as the chaos intensified was to exacerbate my own pain by going deeper into isolation. There were many reasons why I believe this was not such an abnormal reaction to the situation but none the less, recently I realized I was trapped in a life without people and I was dying there. For whatever reason, I had convinced myself that as long as I had God in there with me I would be fine. I was wrong. Psalm 27:11-12 "Teach me your way , O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence."

The turning point came a short time ago when I began to ask for help. God decided that it was no longer healthy for me to be in isolation and it was time for me to move toward trusting people again. John 15:4 "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." I realize the only way I will be able to advance my relationship with HIM is if I begin to rebuild relationships with people around me again. This is a very frightening challenge for me. After all, I have been in isolation for many years. I liken this in my mind a bit to Tom Hanks in "The Cast Away"coming back from the island after his time in isolation and finding that life had moved on without him, trying to figure out how he might fit in again.

He knew I was to afraid to take this on myself, so he sent a person of the flesh to provide counsel. Amazingly, I have surprised myself that I have been able to take baby steps to open my heart again to trust. I am witness to the beauty of the precise way that God weaves the tapestry of lives together to do good. Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. I celebrate an early year win, a milestone and a turning point.