Leading and Loving with a Ministry Heart at Work

I've been a manager/leader in the workplace most of my life. Despite giving away my age, I'll confess that I've been out here over 30 years. I walked out of college a confident, aspiring ready to be "leader". My career journey took off and in a short time, I was managing a diversity of people many twice my age, experience and in numbers and budget dollars beyond my wildest dreams. I was rewarded for my expertise with bonuses that many people will never be paid in a year regardless of how hard they work. I quickly had the lifestyle that I had aspired and was surrounded by people, power and prestige. I was exhilarated and asking for more. I had fresh ideas and the power to strategize, execute and manage it all. I was by my own definition a "success".

What I didn't have was the wisdom to know that I was managing, not leading. The corporate ladder was easy to climb. I like most of peers was connected, determined and energetic. I had my business degree, could write a strategic plan and could manage and drive the results even better than most of my male counterparts. Year after year, managers around me and I were fighting and trampling to reach those stretch goals usually with little regard to the carnage to our teams, the very people who were making it all happen.

As I became more aware of this trend in myself and others around me, I could see God challenging us. Were we choosing self imposed success and money instead of the gifts of our/His team that had been entrusted to us to develop, love and lead with heart? It was then I began to understand there is a difference between managing and leading. I observed managers lead projects and leaders manage spiritual gifts. The managers around me were falling prey to the strategic plan and managing for money-- quickly justifying their actions by proclaiming it was for the good of the business or organization.

I have seen very few of these mangers ever become leaders despite their salaries or titles. I have observed this with a sadness not for the managers but for those they were entrusted to lead and love. Growth of the Kingdom relies on leaders valuing, developing and tapping the gifts of His people entrusted to them.

If we're true to ourselves and each other, leading and loving with a ministry heart at work can help us transcend the corporate mentality and provide an opportunity for a new covenant and a new definition of success.

God's Gentle Nudges

The longer I live the more I realize that "my life is not my own". I laugh how naive I was in my late teens early 20's thinking about how I would conquer the world. The quiet naive young woman in me was determined and capable. As a small town girl I had grown up with a strong work ethic and was capable in my own right in many ways. I had hopes, dreams and ambitions for myself. After all, I had everything going for me.

I have had many gentle nudges from people and God over the years. I saw them as calculated ways of controlling my destiny. A bit later I called them the "white picket fence" phenomenon. The next stage in life I called it a force of ambition and drive. These nudges over the years were subtle and had a tendency to keep me on course, to help me mature in my thinking, to help me realize there is a God. When I was still enough to be aware of these nudges, I sensed a calm and peace from within. I continued to be rewarded and ambitions became realities. Time passed and good came to my life. But something continued to feel empty and unfulfilled. The most important nudge of my life was beginning to happen and I was to busy to respond.

As I started to question this emptiness, God's gentle nudge became more defined. I began to realize the "white picket fence" phenomenon and my ambitions were an illusion, a safety net that I had created in my mind to feel safe and in control. I realized that it was easy for me to have a faith of convenience listening and responding when I wanted to. Deciding when or if to give of my gifts. After all, I had done pretty well all by myself.

It was then I learned the true meaning of obedience. My life was dismantled piece by piece. My confidence and success turned to brokenness and unrest. The more I resisted, the more God's gentle nudge felt like a twinge and ultimately like a two-by-four between the eyes.

It was time for me to realize the life that was in me was never my own but a gift that I neither earned or deserved. It became apparent to me that He had decided my time of safety and control needed to be aggressively rousted. I had grown comfortable being selfish of the my gifts and selective of the calls I was willing to answer. As I look back on these times, I also realize God had tremendous patience and a witty sense of humor with me. It took years for me to learn there truly is a difference between our ambitions for our lives and His call for our lives.

These days I'm getting wiser about control issues and ironically, God sends me some of my most important calls at some of the most inconvenient times. The good news is I'm not distracted by my ambitions anymore. I've learned achieving my ambitions have brought me joy at times but answering my calls have changed my life.