Baby Steps

You wouldn't think that a single word could put a half century old woman into a cold sweat and sometimes panic but "trust" has done it to me for several years now--both in definition and in practice. Proverbs 3:5 tells us-Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. I give myself credit for the first part of the verse. I have trusted in the Lord. At times, I had no other choice. It was HE who picked me up, gave me hope, gave me a new life in a new place and found me a way to provide for my family. Now HE also expects me to take action to apply what I have learned with HIM to people of the flesh. This is where I am apprehensive and wobbly on the walk. I feel clumsy and apprehensive in this endeavor but need to execute the second half of the verse "lean not on your own understanding".

This week, although a little off balance, I took many steps in various levels of relationship and trust with people. I trusted my daughter to live up to her word in a promise she made to me last week; I trusted new found friends with a story and a secret; I trusted a man on a bridge over troubled waters to meet me half way; I trusted a twenty eight year old salesman that I met for the first time to sell me a car; and I trusted my son to drive it off the lot and home for the first time.

To be honest, I don't think I've earned or learned enough to be in this accelerated class but I have enough faith to trust in HIM and not my own understanding. There is a small sense of satisfaction and confidence that I might actually be able to do this.