Leading and Loving with a Ministry Heart at Work

I've been a manager/leader in the workplace most of my life. Despite giving away my age, I'll confess that I've been out here over 30 years. I walked out of college a confident, aspiring ready to be "leader". My career journey took off and in a short time, I was managing a diversity of people many twice my age, experience and in numbers and budget dollars beyond my wildest dreams. I was rewarded for my expertise with bonuses that many people will never be paid in a year regardless of how hard they work. I quickly had the lifestyle that I had aspired and was surrounded by people, power and prestige. I was exhilarated and asking for more. I had fresh ideas and the power to strategize, execute and manage it all. I was by my own definition a "success".

What I didn't have was the wisdom to know that I was managing, not leading. The corporate ladder was easy to climb. I like most of peers was connected, determined and energetic. I had my business degree, could write a strategic plan and could manage and drive the results even better than most of my male counterparts. Year after year, managers around me and I were fighting and trampling to reach those stretch goals usually with little regard to the carnage to our teams, the very people who were making it all happen.

As I became more aware of this trend in myself and others around me, I could see God challenging us. Were we choosing self imposed success and money instead of the gifts of our/His team that had been entrusted to us to develop, love and lead with heart? It was then I began to understand there is a difference between managing and leading. I observed managers lead projects and leaders manage spiritual gifts. The managers around me were falling prey to the strategic plan and managing for money-- quickly justifying their actions by proclaiming it was for the good of the business or organization.

I have seen very few of these mangers ever become leaders despite their salaries or titles. I have observed this with a sadness not for the managers but for those they were entrusted to lead and love. Growth of the Kingdom relies on leaders valuing, developing and tapping the gifts of His people entrusted to them.

If we're true to ourselves and each other, leading and loving with a ministry heart at work can help us transcend the corporate mentality and provide an opportunity for a new covenant and a new definition of success.

God's Gentle Nudges

The longer I live the more I realize that "my life is not my own". I laugh how naive I was in my late teens early 20's thinking about how I would conquer the world. The quiet naive young woman in me was determined and capable. As a small town girl I had grown up with a strong work ethic and was capable in my own right in many ways. I had hopes, dreams and ambitions for myself. After all, I had everything going for me.

I have had many gentle nudges from people and God over the years. I saw them as calculated ways of controlling my destiny. A bit later I called them the "white picket fence" phenomenon. The next stage in life I called it a force of ambition and drive. These nudges over the years were subtle and had a tendency to keep me on course, to help me mature in my thinking, to help me realize there is a God. When I was still enough to be aware of these nudges, I sensed a calm and peace from within. I continued to be rewarded and ambitions became realities. Time passed and good came to my life. But something continued to feel empty and unfulfilled. The most important nudge of my life was beginning to happen and I was to busy to respond.

As I started to question this emptiness, God's gentle nudge became more defined. I began to realize the "white picket fence" phenomenon and my ambitions were an illusion, a safety net that I had created in my mind to feel safe and in control. I realized that it was easy for me to have a faith of convenience listening and responding when I wanted to. Deciding when or if to give of my gifts. After all, I had done pretty well all by myself.

It was then I learned the true meaning of obedience. My life was dismantled piece by piece. My confidence and success turned to brokenness and unrest. The more I resisted, the more God's gentle nudge felt like a twinge and ultimately like a two-by-four between the eyes.

It was time for me to realize the life that was in me was never my own but a gift that I neither earned or deserved. It became apparent to me that He had decided my time of safety and control needed to be aggressively rousted. I had grown comfortable being selfish of the my gifts and selective of the calls I was willing to answer. As I look back on these times, I also realize God had tremendous patience and a witty sense of humor with me. It took years for me to learn there truly is a difference between our ambitions for our lives and His call for our lives.

These days I'm getting wiser about control issues and ironically, God sends me some of my most important calls at some of the most inconvenient times. The good news is I'm not distracted by my ambitions anymore. I've learned achieving my ambitions have brought me joy at times but answering my calls have changed my life.

Learning About Faith Through Stories

Dan is a man of many stories. Part of my intrigue with him from the beginning has been the many stories he has told me about his life experiences and what he has learned from them. He not only tells me the stories but as I stated in our wedding vows, "I have seen him relentlessly recruit (through stories) for The Kingdom-- anyone who will listen and sometimes people who aren't listening with the hope and a prayer that someday they will listen."

A couple of weeks ago as we were talking, I asked him why he was willing to be so transparent about his life. The private and guarded me saw this as a point of vulnerability for people to take his openness and do harm to him/us.

His answer was quick and simple. It is the core of his faith and the essence of his people focused ministry. As I thought more about this, I realized something about Dan that connected his transparency with this deep love for Jesus. Just like Jesus, the wisdom of what he has learned from life is best shared in prayer and community to benefit other believers. I now have a new perspective on the importance of sharing stories and being transparent. For those who believe, transparency is a gift to community and relationships we hold dear.

Would You Know Jesus If He Walked Up to You?

How many of us would know Jesus if He walked up to us? Would He look the way we would expect Him to look or would we glance away based upon our own narrow expectations? Would we expect a being of stature or would we ignore Him because of his diversity from us? Would we have the time or would we be much to busy with ourselves and our own needs?

I think if most of us answered these questions honestly, we are all guilty of walking away from Jesus often. He takes many faces in our lives. He is the elderly woman at the grocery store that can't lift her bag into the car. He is the sick neighbor who needs medicine. He is the broken hearted young woman who has failed in a relationship. He is a young boy who is looking for love in the midst of divorce or a broken family. He is a coworker that is struggling to provide value. He is a family member who is struggling for belonging.

Mark 6 3-6 NIV "Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us? And they took offense at him.

Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor. ...And he was amazed at their lack of faith.

As we look through the scriptures, Jesus experienced all types of rejection because He stood for something different than the social norm. We know how the story unfolded. Our faith provides us with daily opportunity to see Jesus in each other and act upon being with Him. Do we take the time or do we have more important tasks to tend to? Do we hold ourselves accountable as believers in community or do we hold ourselves to different standards? Are we willing to pay the price as Christians to see Him in each other or do we rely on our own judgement and timing? So... Would you know Jesus if He Walked Up to You tomorrow?

Taking Pause

That is a really good way to describe what I have done over these past few days, weeks and now even months since I last blogged back in April. It has been a time of great celebration and deep sadness. Since April, Kayla has graduated from high school and prepares to start her college journey at LaSalle in a few weeks, Cody and Matt have soared (both personally and professionally) as they learn to grow the cafe business and work in unison and on Main Street in Dennison, Iowa I accepted a marriage proposal.

Externally, the economy continues to be volatile, people are losing their jobs and sickness and sadness prevail on many days. These times have led me to take pause and reflect on my past, my present and my future. They have led me to search my heart and decide what is most important to me and what would please HIM. I have learned (at many junctures the hard way) that the riches of life do not come from money or worldly success but from simply loving each other and following HIS lead on how to do it. I have learned living and loving are a journey not a destination.

Dan's influence and partnership in prayer have helped me to believe in myself, constantly reminding me that I am royalty -- "A daughter of the King". I have experienced richness in embracing life this way. We have stumbled as we have tried to retool our hearts, minds and spirits to listen, but we keep doing it. We have cried, explained and apologized more than we have experienced the joy and the rewards, at this point. We have had to take pause several times in order to listen to HIS direction.

Why do we keep doing this? Many close to us have been quite perplexed by the question and our response. It is simple... a life without love is not HIS plan for us. I pray each of you will take pause too. HE never breaks HIS promises. If you love, even when people don't love you back, it will yield a rich life.

1 Peter 1: 7-7 NIV
"These have come so that your faith --of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you may not have seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Driving Miss Daisy

As I was aimlessly flipping the remote (a significant benefit of a single woman) last night, I came across the 1989 Pulitzer winning flick, "Driving Miss Daisy". I remember being intrigued the first time I saw it now 20 years ago when I was in my early adult life. I experienced some different things than I did back then.

I could imagine how people over the years have seen me as a Miss Daisy (Jessica Tandy) characterized as a strong willed, Southern gal with a stiff upper lip. In her earlier years, she had little time for relationship or the simple things in life. She was quite focused with the things she could control and single handily change.

She was silently blessed with a black chauffeur named Hoke (Morgan Freeman) whose diversity and lifestyle made the two quite unlikely to develop much more than a working pleasantry with each other. Twenty five years and loss changed Miss Daisy and Hoke's priorities. They were not only drawn to accept each other's differences but were drawn to develop a meaningful relationship with each other. Miss Daisy eventually began to rely heavily on driving conversations with Hoke to provide meaning, joy and direction in her life. Eventually the stiff upper lip became a gentle smile and then erupted to full blown laughter with Hoke.

My take away from Driving Miss Daisy was different last night than it had been twenty years ago. I, like Miss Daisy, have realized that God's gift to us is not fulfilling in solitude, and if we are patient and open meaningful relationships are blessings that come from highly unlikely places and at times we least expect them. It reminds me of a saying I think of often... Life's a journey not a destination, so don't forget to enjoy the drive.

Simple as "Simon Says"

Sunday I had the opportunity to spend time with my grandchildren, Taylor (5) and Mason (1). It is always a good day when I get to do this because things get really simple when I interact at their level. I love to digress to my own childhood and remember how much fun I had before I went off to kindergarten. From my perspective, kindergarten is a time when you release your children for the first time to the care and wisdom of other adults as well as expose them to the diversity of many other lifestyles of children in a daily way (that's a subject for a different day though).

Taylor's creative mind moved us to a hybrid game of "Simon Says" that she called "Teacher". Obviously the competitive blood as the first born in a competitive family made her the "Teacher". The game worked like this, as the Teacher she could tell us what to do or not to do and we would do exactly what she told us or we would be "out". As you can imagine, us grandparents don't respond quite as precisely or as quickly as our Teacher expected. It produced more laughter and fun than I have had in quite awhile. She was a great teacher at age 5. She kept the instructions short and simple. It made the game fast paced and fun. At times, the instructions required teamwork or two to accomplish. She kept everyone engaged and the time flew as her success was reaffirmed by a proud grandma.

I will not forget the simpleness of that time we had together this Sunday. It made me wonder if we adults have made life more complicated than it needs to be sometimes-- turning games to contests, innocent fun to a challenge, or teamwork into competition. It made me wonder if we really just took our ULTIMATE TEACHER literally how simple and fun life could really get for all people. I am thankful for my granddaughter who's simple fun loving joy has me thinking how I can apply what I learned on Sunday to where I am in life.